Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Here be Monsters

Two nights ago, Daigoro woke up crying for Daddy.

I came into the room and comforted him. He's been ill, as has been outlined in other posts, and although he usually sleeps through the night, I imagine his sleep is troubled by his cold.

He looked at me pitifully and said,

"There's a monster over there," pointing at a corner of the room.

I said that I was there to love, protect and teach him, and that monsters are only make-believe. I looked carefully at the corner, in case there was some insect or shape or shadow that might suggest a monster. Nothing.

"I want to sleep with Daddy," he sobbed.

I hesitated. Inviting your child to sleep with you could lead to habits of children joining you in bed every time they are scared at night. Then again, isn't it my role as a parent to comfort my children?

I paused to think, then responded, "Daigoro, you have to be brave. When you are brave, even make-believe monsters can't hurt you. Can you be brave?"

"Yeah," he said, tentatively.

"I'm glad you can be brave," I said. He still looked uncertain.

"You're not feeling well, so you can come and sleep with me," I said, wondering if I was doing the right thing. Marli and I are sleeping in separate beds until Kenshin can sleep through the night without feeding. Having Daigoro sleep with me wouldn't trouble her.

"Can you carry me?" he asked, looking up at me with teary eyes.

I carried him to my bed and hugged him as he drifted back to sleep. I felt strong and useful, like a parent should. It was nice to sleep with a now-comforted young soul, knowing that you had made that sleep possible.

When had monsters entered into his imagination? Had he seen one on TV? The only monsters in any of the books I've read him were "Where the Wild Things Are", and I read that to him only once - and they're relatively nice monsters. Do children instinctively learn to fear monsters? Why?

Are they summoned up from the depths of our collective unconsciousness, or would a child exposed to no concept of "monster" never fear such things?

As I listened to his breathing slow and become steady, I briefly thought about the monsters of my own life - the uncertainties, fears and doubts which plague me, sometimes daily, sometimes only reappearing once every few years. Recently I've been a little concerned about my health, and for almost the first time in my life, I worry about the possibility that I wouldn't be there for my children.

Here be monsters; but at least I can protect Daigoro from his.

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