Cycles and Phases

Daigoro goes through cycles, much like other children. His cycles can be somewhat strange, however. For example, when he was very young (0-6 months or so), he enjoyed getting his diaper changed so much that we actually changed him to calm him down even if he didn't need changing (on occasion, when we had reached a mental breaking point). Later, he began to dislike getting changed (6-18 months), mostly on account of wanting to be able to squirm about. Then, for a brief period, he seemed to be fairly lukewarm to the idea (18-22 months). For the last two months or so, however, he's become resistant again, to the point of clamping shut his legs every other day or so and protesting "no, no, stop!". For any other parents who may have not had this experience, it's surprisingly difficult to change a baby who is actively resisting you by tucking his knees and legs together and drawing them in against his body. Then when you go to wipe his bottom, he puts down his legs, then you go to wipe his groin and he tucks them up again. Smart cookie, Daigoro. Sometimes it's related to diaper rash (which, thankfully, he doesn't get very often at all), but sometimes it just seems to be his mood to put up resistance.

For a while there, he seemed to want nothing but YouTube clips of trucks. Now he wants "games" - computer games like Dora the Explorer, Diego and other delightful diversions at www.nickjr.com. We're limiting his play time, of course, but it's interesting (and somewhat disturbing) to hear a child want something (aside from a cookie) as the very first thing when he wakes up in the morning, and that something to be a computer game. (Well, to be honest, the very first thing he asks for is "Mom" or "Dad", so we've got that portion of his affections locked down).

We've recently begun reading him bedtime stories more often. When he was younger, he seemed somewhat uninterested - usually losing attention about three pages in, but now he's pretty keen. Last night, for the first time, he wanted to take his book to bed with him and read it (well, flip through the pages and stare at the pictures). He's taken the book to bed with him before, as a sort of security blanket; he's also taken dolls, trucks and various other toys with him to clutch while falling asleep. Last night, though, he sat in bed reading after we put him down. Marli commented, "We may as well have been robots, for all he needed us to be there." It was kind of cute to look at him, lying on his back reading, completely oblivious to his adoring parents.

Cycles and phases. Some things he returns to; some he never will.

Good Morning, Sunshine!

When you get to the ripe age of thirtysomething, mornings seldom seem to have quite the same sparkle as they did in the salad days of youth. Not that you'd want to eat salad for days, or actually have sparkle-y mornings, but you get the idea.

Daigoro is stunningly good-natured in the morning. He's normally quite happy, but in the morning, when you've been woken up by your spouse having the usual late-pregnancy sleep troubles at 2 AM, the cat being annoying at 5 AM and the fruit of your loins calling "Dada?!" at 6:45, his good mood ascends well into the range of "too much, too soon."

It starts the moment he wakes up. I don't know how other toddlers wake up. I imagine it's likely a relatively gradual process. In Daigoro's case, he's seemingly fast asleep one moment, then standing upright a split second later. It's startlingly quick - sort of the reverse of a puppet having its strings cut. Somehow he just leaps into an upright stance without the intermediate "roll over, rub eyes, sit up, stretch, stand slowly" steps that most adults take in between.

Usually the first words out of his mouth are truck-related. I can only hope this does not reflect on his eventual life priorities, because on his current path his guidance counsellor isn't going to have check off more than one or two boxes on the old career path sheet.

"Truck! Firetruck! Car! ... Dada?"

"Yes, Daigoro?"

"Truck! TRUUUUCK!"

We alternate the task of fetching him from his crib. He usually snuggles into our chests as we transfer him, at which point we usually try to extend his momentary docile mood to getting another 15-20 minutes of sleep. At the moment this seems to work about 20% of the time, and Daigoro peacefully naps for another little while. The other 80% of the time, Daigoro wants to play.

If you have brothers and sisters, as I do, you may be familiar with a smaller human being wanting desperately to gain your attention at 7 in the morning. Even if you have, however, you're likely not to have experienced it as an adult, unless you are a parent or babysit sleep-over children. Unless there was a long gap between you and your siblings, you're also likely not to have experienced the delicate aroma of six hour-old baby diaper as a toddler plants his bum solidly on your nose, or the pleasant sensations of a child trodding blithely on your genitalia and sensitive portions of your midsection.

One very nice aspect of this, all kidding aside, is to have a very cuddly and happy little boy sharing the covers with you. He usually has a beaming smile plastered to his face. As grumpy or jaded anyone can be ( I'm not exactly a bear in the morning, really) it's really hard to not feel like smiling yourself.

After rolling over us for a few minutes, or playing peek-a-boo, he usually slides off the bed, tromps to the door and waves a beckoning hand.

" 'mon," he says, which is his current abbreviation for 'come on'. The parental response is usually to groan inwardly (or literally, when it's been a restless night) and try desperately to pretend we didn't hear him.

"Cee-al," he continues insistently, using his toddler's argot for 'cereal'. Cereal is his favourite food at the moment. He'd probably eat nothing but cereal, given the opportunity. As nice as that would be for Nabisco, we do try to vary his diet a little.

After one or two 'mons!, we usually marshal the strength to set him up in his booster seat in the dining room. One of his favourite cereals is the President's Choice 'raisin and bran' cereal, which he can't seem to get enough of. Nature's candy, I suppose. Feeding him that cereal in the morning and changing him in the evening can be an object lesson in the healthy purgative nature of dietary fibre.

After cereal, he'll often ask for "jam". He's cleverly determined that he can lick the jam right off toast if we let him, so toast and jam is usually a supervised affair while the other parent takes a shower or puts on make-up. He waits fairly patiently while we wipe the mess of cereal and jam from his face and hands, then he's down again, usually asking for vehicles of some kind.

A typical hand-off of care takes place while the other parent completes her or his morning ablutions and then it's time to pile him into his clothes for the day and his snowsuit.

Having finished dressing him and ourselves, we head out to the car to take him to his home care provider. He loves to dawdle, inspecting small grains of road salt or huge chunks of ice, crunching on ice-crusted snow or running through the steam billowing out of the clothes dryer vent in the side driveway. At this point, it's usually us coaxing him, but every once in a while I realize what a blessing it is to look forward with such wonder and excitement at the prospect of a new day as he does. To raise a hand and beckon to others, "Come on!"